Rounders

"Ten-thirty at night and I'm standing outside Teddy KGB's place with thirty thousand dollars in my pocket, paralyzed. It's now or never, as Tony Bennett said. It's monkey time. I can't seem to move, is all.
Thirty thousand dollars is one hundred percent of the money I've got in the world. And Teddy's place is not in the best part of the city and that city is New York. Some asshole is going to come along and stick a gun in my face, I think, and I am going to deserve it because I am acting like an asshole myself. I have made up my mind to go into Teddy's and this is what I'm doing. What I am going to do. But I can't move forward and I can't move back and I just stand there on the sidewalk and I can see that I don't have the nerve for what I am about to do. I am going to deserve what happens to me./…/ Kevin Canty